lessons learned for youth ministry leaders / volunteers...free of charge

Eight years ago this Christmas I was fully convinced of the calling to ministry on me and my family...man, what a journey it has been!  From volunteer, to part time, to full time, back to part time, to volunteering, and now again in full time vocational ministry (going on three years now).  I have served in a church's infant stage, deathbed stage and somewhere in between.
I have noticed over recent history that I am no longer the pup of student ministry, and strange to me there is the occasional young guy looking to me for wisdom.  Consider this post the reflections of 8 years walking with students and families and the summary of what I've concluded...free of charge.

1. CAMP AND MISSION TRIPS are not the turning point where student lives are changed and they never look back.  They are opportunities for relational discipleship and mile markers of life which they will look back on.  Avoid the hype and focus on the teaching moments.
2. VOLUNTEERS...you can never have too many.  Don't be concerned about the student to adult ratio on Wednesday night, be concerned about the quality of relationships being formed by those you have attending.  This may require one adult for every two students!?!?
3. FUN EVENTS have never served as a legit outreach as much as I hope they would.  They have served to reconnect students who had disconnected and they have been great relationship builders between students, volunteers and myself.  
4. PARENTS are not optional.  I struggled with parents in my early years when I thought our student ministry was about my leadership.  Youth leader, get over yourself.  The ministry is not about you, it is about the homes represented by each student.  At all costs build the bridge between you and parents...be ready to fade into the background and help parents be parents (oh yeah, don't tell them how to be parents or judge their effectiveness if you are not one...just encourage every chance you get).  Below are three ideas that have been most effective for me in building that bridge.
1. MAILING A LETTER TO PARENTS.  When a student does something that is good, it is an opportunity to encourage the parent.  It does not matter one bit if the parent is a regular at church or if I've never met them, whether they are a follower of Christ or not...they are the biggest influence in the student's life and if the student does good, I can encourage the parent by telling them that they must be doing something good.
2. FAMILY NIGHT...twice a year Sharon students uses major calendar dates as an excuse to host a family night where every parent is invited to worship, have fun and hear the vision.  We currently use back to school and Christmas as the two dates.
3. PARENT VOLUNTEERS have been a great place to build bridges.  I did have to repent of the mindset that youth group is a safe place to say anything and realize that the home must become a safe place to say anything...but after that, all has been good.
5. NUMBERS have never increased as I counted them.  I'm not the guy that has been a part of the overnight mega youth group...that guy was my friend and it was a painful comparison.  But I have realized that every ministry I have been part of has grown...and grown slowly.  Learn to avoid the constant head count and make sure that people count.  Satan caused David to count the troops...the LORD adds to the numbers...we are called to feed the sheep.  (1 Chronicles 21:1, Acts 2:47, John 21:17)
6. LONGEVITY AND RESULTS go hand in hand.  Galatians 6:9 is not a promise for us to preach as we pack up and move on.  The greatest harvest of my ministry I have not been privileged to enjoy because I had already moved on.  The students who moved into ministry, went on missions, the dad who learns to seek the LORD with his wife and kids, and so on and so on...  If we never mature beyond being the one year and gone guy, we aren't likely to see a harvest.
7. RELATIONSHIPS, building and maintaining these is the greatest use of my time.  There are some things you must do and do alone, such as message prep, but everything else you do is an opportunity to build relationships by taking someone with you.  On the flip side, maintaining relationships will include connecting with the one I haven't spoken to lately or more importantly, reaching out to the one who is avoiding me or running down my name.  Some of the most valuable relationships I have had in the church were people I did not get along with or that could not stand me.  Relationships are the flesh on your faith...by this all men will know that you are my disciples.  (John 13:35)
8. EGO AND INSECURITY have been my biggest hurdles.  I once thought that anything that took place under my ministries name had to happen on my clock...wrong!  Part of this was because I thought too much of my title/abilities and too little of other's.  Another part (more relevant today) is that I have major insecurities.  I am still attempting to learn how to hand off, help others to implement their ideas, and even let others do things that I can do better.   

This is merely the tip of the iceberg...maybe something will be found of value for you or someone you know.